Madison, this is going to be an uncomfortable conversation, regardless if you support ‘Black Lives Matter’ or you if ‘Stand with the Police.’

This has to end.

In the last 24 hours, we’ve seen a video of an African-American father and fiancé shot in his car for no apparent reason by a police officer. Less than a day later, five police officers are killed and six more are injured because someone wanted to kill ‘white police officers.’

This has to end.

In the past 72 hours in Madison, a good friend of mine, an African-American father and community leader, was pulled over by the police and sat accused of throwing fireworks off a balcony of an apartment he’s never stepped foot in. When my friend defended himself, the officer became indignant, shaming my friend. Our city cannot claim that we have perfected policing while events like this still happen.

Less than a day later, a good friend of mine, a white police officer, mourned a recent ‘successful, non-violent protest against police brutality’ where for an extended period of time, an African-American screamed in his face that he wished the officer’s wife and daughters would be sexually assaulted and then killed. Our city cannot claim a ‘successful protest’ if there is one instance of anyone spewing that kind of venom at anyone else.

This has to end.

“If you support Black Lives Matter, awesome, become best friends with police officers and invite them to your neighborhood BBQ. If you Stand with the Police, glorious, volunteer every week in communities that are disproportionately affected by negative police engagements. When we find flaws or abuses in our systems, rally against them until they are fixed, but refuse to rally against your neighbor.”

The reason why this happens is insidious. We’re angry at the unjust, destructive systems of the world, but getting angry at the system is about as cathartic as getting angry at a broken toaster. We need a person or a people group to attach our rage, so we begin to attack the individuals operating the systems: politicians, police, communities of different colors or creeds. We keep demonizing each other (African Americans, police officers, immigrants), and once we’ve turned them into these nightmarish creatures, we believe we’re allowed to hate these ‘demons’ and not feel bad about it.

But it’s a ruse. We’re lying to ourselves, and we’re destroying our neighbor, and in sad, tragic irony, ourselves in the process. To paraphrase Paul, “Our battle is not against our flesh-and-blood neighbors, but against the destructive, longstanding evil systems in our world, and the dark spiritual powers that desire to keep us enemies.”

This has to end.

How do we do it? Well, he had some advice for that, too: “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them … do not overcome evil by evil, but overcome evil by good.” Translation: stop posting hate on Facebook. Stop gathering with groups intent on demonizing or looking down on other groups. If you support Black Lives Matter, awesome, become best friends with police officers and invite them to your neighborhood BBQ. If you Stand with the Police, glorious, volunteer every week in communities that are disproportionately affected by negative police engagements. When we find flaws or abuses in our systems, rally against them until they are fixed, but refuse to rally against your neighbor.

This has to end, and the good news is that it can. We just have to focus our attention on the actual problems, broken systems, and focus our love on each other.