The traumas in the Black community are mounting. It’s hard to escape the videos of another Black body being gunned down by police. We’re tired. We become mentally exhausted. We’re trolled on social media by people who tell us that we are to blame when we’re killed by police.
You want to fight. Yet at the same time, you want to stay indoors and away from the madness that lingers in the air. We (read Black women) forget ourselves. Forget that we can come first. Forget that we need caring for and protection, too. Our peace of mind suffers.
We deserve peace. Here are a few ways you can protect yours.
Create a space in your home for love
This is your space where madness isn’t allowed to permeate. It’s calm and your favorite things are within reach. There is no chaos here. Deadlines and drama don’t walk into this space with you. It’s where you come to unwind with a mug of tea. It’s where you throw on Lemonade and twerk without a care in the world. It’s where you do nothing. It’s where the sun enters and you breathe easily.
Don’t entertain social media trolls
You’ve probably seen them. Their profile images are often pictures of pets, historical figures, guns, or memes. They jump on social media not to learn nor engage in healthy debate. They go straight to responding with racist ideologies and ignore every fact you share with them. Really, you don’t need to entertain these trolls. They often post from fake accounts as a why to shield their identities. Block those folks and keep it moving.
You don’t have to attend every event
You’re going to get invited to events addressing the killings of men and women at the hands of police. Those events are led by various groups you’re connected to. From religious organizations to grassroots communities. You may be pulled to show up to as many events as you can so as not to be perceived as not being involved. Please don’t do that to yourself. Show up and add value where you can but we need you to care of yourself first. Remember, a better you is better to those whom you want to help.
Spend time with people who uplift you
Call on those people who bring good energy into the space. You know they want the best for you and consistently show up in love for you. Make it a point to spend some quality time with them. It’s the perfect opportunity to catch up over laughter and good food. It’s also a great opportunity just to share how you’re feeling and talk some things out. Give yourself this opportunity to simply unwind with your homegurls!
Don’t feel compelled to be available to everyone all the time. Remove yourself from toxic relationships. It’s perfectly okay to switch your cell to “do not disturb”. You’re a priority and you do not have to apologize for that.
The ultimate goal is to protect your peace unapologetically. We’re not “superwomen” and neither should we hold ourselves to that expectation.