In the end, what makes you a phoenix is not
just the fire,
but the flight.
-R.B. Simon, “(Re)Incarnation”
Above is an excerpt by my late wife Rene Livingston-DeTienne (pen name R.B. Simon), from her forthcoming poetry collection Bird, Bone, Blood. In her words, the collection centers on “a story of the everyday (or not so everyday) traumas we must overcome, and the strength and resilience needed to grow and transform through them.” As a Black queer woman and activist, Rene’s love and spirit live on through her poetry and the enduring impact she had on the Madison community and world.
Harm has been done to her memory and her name, and harm continues to be done.
As you may have read in the media, a director of CAYA Clinic, a white-led and staffed harm reduction and mental health organization, centered their Public Health Madison & Dane County grant proposal for a harm reduction drop-in center on non-existent partnerships with local Black-led organizations and people, as well as non-existent organizations, resulting in initial approval. The proposal even claimed CAYA was “BIPOC led” which is not true. After two months of research, direct action, spearheaded by Alder Sabrina Madison, a Black woman, this funding was thankfully halted.
What has not yet been publicly reported is that CAYA Clinic’s proposal used and tokenized my late wife’s name. The first sentence of their proposal credits Rene as a founder of the clinic. She was not a founder. Rather, as part-time and short-term employee, Rene played a big role in launching and championing the clinic. Additionally, she served on Dane County’s Opioid Settlement Committee, and spent countless hours leading the recommendations of the drop-in center. In a further attempt to claim unearned proximity to Blackness, CAYA also proposed naming the drop-in center after her. That turned my wife’s name into a token.
As a white client at CAYA, I continue to benefit from the privilege of receiving effective therapy. I name this intentionally because access to mental health care is a privilege — one that, due to systemic barriers, is not equally accessible to BIPOC people seeking the same services. No clinic nor clinician is exempt from that system.
I joined CAYA Clinic’s board of directors January 6 of this year, right before CAYA presented their false claims. Though my gut said differently, I still allowed my racism to side with the white narrative. I supported this even after the first falsehood – that CAYA was “BIPOC led” — became known. When I was told this was an AI error, I chose to believe it. I failed to see how my wife and others were appropriated through this process. I failed to listen to Alder Madison — a Black woman — when she raised the alarm. I was wrong. My apologies will come in the form of changed behavior and action.
I did ultimately decide to call in the leadership team and suggest restorative justice action, but those steps failed. I decided then that I could no longer, in good conscience, hold a position of power within an organization that chose harm over harm reduction. I left the board five weeks later.
However, this is beyond CAYA Clinic’s appropriated and falsified grant proposal. This is about how core systemic failure remains — Black women have been and continue to be shut down, shut out, and ignored, and Black-led organizations and people’s work have been and continue to be exploited without accountability.
So white folks, I call you in. Calling in means specific action, not just a social media like or a private message. We, myself included, have an opportunity to educate ourselves, others, speak up, and be part of the resolution. In addition to sharing this either publicly or privately, please consider completing at least one of the following:
- Send an email or letter to the opioid settlement subcommittee asking them to move on these funds by trusting Black women public health harm reduction experts, Dir. Aurielle Smith’s (PHMDC) and Alder Carmella Glenn and, recommendations of a needs assessment.
- Watch, share, and join the discussion on this video. Follow up with an email or letter to Supervisor Heidi Wegleitner, Dane County Executive Melissa Agard, and Supervisor Patrick Miles. Demand accountability for Supervisor Rick Rose’s behavior and urge them to attend roundtable discussions led by Black woman leaders, Alder Glenn and Alder Madison.
- Do your inner work and reflect on how your own racism shows up. A few resources are Urban Triage, Nehemiah, and YWCA. Fill out this form to stay connected.
The fire continues to burn. How will you, in the end, be part of the flight?
