As a single mother of five children, Tara Wilhelmi has faced neverending financial struggles during two decades of motherhood – even being homeless for a short period of time. She has taken on every one of those struggles using the tools of hard work, education, self-advocacy, networking and learning to create and stick to a budget.
But sometimes life’s struggles can just get to be too much.
“I usually can problem solve and I’m the person who has an A-Z look at things. If the first thing doesn’t work, keep trying. But I’ve exhausted A-Z a few times trying to figure things out this time. This time it was just too much,” Wilhelmi tells Madison365 in an interview during her break working at Goodman Community Center on Madison’s near east side.
Wilhelmi and her five children – ages 20, 17, 14, 11, and 9 years old – have been living in survival mood for so long that the daily worries of living paycheck to paycheck have become normal for her.
“I count ourselves lucky because we have a network. I have a good friend of the family who is a general manager at a local hotel so she’s always been able to give us a nice discounted hotel in times of trouble,” Wilhelmi says. “So it was something I could manage from check to check.”
Wilhelmi has struggled with what a lot of Madison renters have struggled with for decades – shady landlords, outrageous deposits, years of broken windows, clogged toilets, no repairs, and questionable neighbors. One landlord, in particular, kept thousands of dollars worth of deposits only to reluctantly give it back when the UW law clinic took up her case and forced them to.
“Even now, I know that when my lease is up that renting is going to be very stressful,” she says. “I have teenagers; it’s a large group of us and I know that’s something that turns landlords off. I know from communicating with my current landlord that some of the applications I have put in they haven’t even bothered to follow up on and are just denying me. It’s something I cringe about.”
Already on unsteady monetary and housing grounds, the straw that really broke the camel’s back was when Wilhelmi’s daughter recently had to have emergency surgery and was admitted to the UW-Hospital for more than a week.
“It left me in a position where this paycheck coming this Friday was not going to cover anything and I just didn’t know what else to do,” Wilhelmi says about trying to cover December’s rent and to put a deposit down on a new place. “I reached out for good thoughts and for blessings for people because I really needed my daughter to get discharged and get home because I really needed to get back to work to earn money.”
But Wilhelmi had lost too much work time to be with her daughter and, with that, too much money.
“My faith really got tested. I do look out for friends and family and community as much as I can. I thought that this would be a good opportunity to ask for people to do the same for me,” Wilhelmi says. “I slept and I thought about it and it was just in my heart – what do I have to lose? I shared my situation and at the worst, I could commiserate with other people who I know are in the same situation and maybe some resources can come out of it.”
A GoFundMe was born that morning out of that desperation. Wilhelmi poured her heart out in passionate words on that page. Nobody knew what the results would be or if anybody would contribute. But by the end of the day, the fund amazingly hit its $2,500 benchmark, making it almost all the way up to $3,000. The fund received a big momentum boost mid-morning when Boys and Girls Club of Dane County CEO Michael Johnson pledged to match $1,000 if it was raised during the business day.
“I didn’t realize Tara was going through all of that. Her kids have been members of the Boys and Girls Club for a long time and I have a lot of respect for her as a single mother working multiple jobs trying to make ends meet,” Johnson tells Madison365.
“I remember when her daughter was actually CEO for the Day at the Boys and Girls Club a couple of years ago. I can remember her sitting in my office and saying, ‘I’m going to run this place someday,’” adds Johnson, laughing.
Johnson says that the Boys and Girls Club just got a gift from Ganser Company and was looking for a way to be of assistance to a family.
“I saw Brandi [Grayson’s Facebook] post about Tara and I was like, ‘OK. If the community raises $1,000, I will match it by the close of the business day.’ I think within three hours they raised over $1,000,” Johnson says. “I think a lot of that has to do with who Tara is … they know how hard-working she is and how much she loves her kids.”
At tonight’s 2017 Annual Sina Davis Community Thanksgiving Dinner hosted by Boys & Girls Club of Dane County, Wilhelmi will get a $1,500 check today – the $1,000 match from the Boy and Girls Club and a $500 individual donation from Marilyn Harper.
“It’s all about lending a helping hand to someone who needs it and I can’t think of somebody who is more deserving than Tara. She so hard-working and active in her community. This was a no-brainer,” Johnson says. “People know Tara has a good heart and she’s all about her kids. As a single African-American mother – as a single mother, in general – it is so hard out there. I’m glad that Boys and Girls and Club could play a small part.”
“It’s unbelievable the community support that I am receiving. And if my speaking up today can benefit others and empower other people to speak up and ask for that help, it’s a double win!”
Wilhelmi says that she is blown away by the amazing community support she received in just one day.
“I’m still a bit embarrassed about sharing the situation. It’s a hard thing to tell people,” she says. “I was raised in a time period of ‘girl power’ and ‘woman can do it’ and I’m a strong, independent single mom. Sometimes it’s hard to tell people you’re struggling or that you need to ask for help.
“It’s unbelievable the community support that I am receiving,” she adds. “And if my speaking up today can benefit others and empower other people to speak up and ask for that help, it’s a double win.”
Wilhelmi is a volunteer manager by profession, so she’s always dealing with people who are willing to give of themselves. “The truth of the matter is that it is usually easier for me to step up and help others than it is for me to ask for help,” she says.
“But I’m speechless. I’m on the verge of tears all day … but its good tears. Yesterday, I was on the verge of helpless, exhausted tears. Today it is joyous ones,” Wilhelmi adds. “I have all the faith in our community because people complain so much about how there is no one there to help them but every day I work with and encounter people in our community who are willing to go out of their way on an individual level to help somebody out in need.”
