In Week 1 of this series, we talked about identity, knowing who you really are in God. In Week 2, we talked about loneliness and the truth that you are never truly alone because God is with you. Once you know who you are and that you’re not alone, the next question naturally follows: what does it mean to truly love and be loved?
Everybody talks about love, but not everybody means the same thing when they say it. That’s why so many of us get confused, hurt, or left wondering if what we’re experiencing is real or just a fake version that won’t last.
Listen:
I don’t know how to talk about love without talking about one name. Five letters. One of the most beloved and misunderstood names in history. The ultimate disrupter. The voice that stood against corrupt power. The pure definition of love itself. Jesus. The one who literally loved you enough to die for you. We’ll dig into His love even more as this series continues, but for today, let’s start with what love really is.
The Bible says it this way: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:10). That is Agape. The Greek word agape means selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. It’s the kind of love that gives without expecting something back. The kind of love that doesn’t run out when you mess up. The kind of love that stays.
When I was younger, I knew a guy who had a lot of girlfriends. I asked him once how he pulled it off, and his answer stuck with me: “The hardest thing for people to figure out is separating the game from the truth.” He was right. It’s hard for people to recognize real love from a performance, or true friendship from someone playing a game. It’s hard to see the difference between hearts that care and hearts that use. But Jesus shows us the truth. His love isn’t a game. It’s not manipulation. It’s pure, steady, and real.
You’ve seen the difference in your own circles. A friend who takes whatever attention they can get. A friend who says yes to things they don’t believe in just to feel wanted. A friend who would rather take negative attention than no attention at all.
The problem is, fake love will always leave you emptier than before. It looks good for a moment, but it can’t hold you when life gets hard. Real love isn’t about control or performance. Real love sets you free.
When we talk about fake love, we aren’t just about relationships. Think about the way social media works. Your post gets likes and for a moment you feel loved, but the next day you post something else and the likes don’t come. Suddenly you feel invisible. That’s not real love. That’s attention. Or maybe you’ve been in a friendship where you were always giving and the other person was always taking. When you needed them, they were nowhere to be found. That’s not real love either. And then there’s dating pressure. Someone says, “If you love me, you’ll do this.” That’s not love. That’s manipulation.
Real love doesn’t manipulate. Real love doesn’t vanish when you stop performing. Real love is steady.
So how do you know the difference between real love and fake love? Let’s make it plain.
Fake love says:
“I love you if…”
“I love you when…”
“I love you because you give me something.”
Real love says:
“I love you even when you mess up.”
“I love you enough to set boundaries.”
“I love you without asking you to be someone you’re not.”
Agape isn’t just a nice feeling. It’s action. It’s sacrifice. It’s choosing someone else’s good even when it costs you something. That’s the love God shows us, and it’s the love He calls us to show each other.
This week, I want you to slow down and ask yourself:
- Where in my life am I chasing fake love that won’t last?
- Who are the people that show me real love, love that is patient, honest, and steady?
- Am I giving real love to others, or am I just giving attention when it benefits me?
Love is powerful. It can heal or it can harm. But when it’s rooted in truth, it will change everything. You don’t have to settle for fake love. You don’t have to take whatever attention comes your way. Real love exists, and it’s closer than you think.
You already have the real thing. His name is Jesus.
Keep the Faith.
Next in the Real Life. Real Faith series: Peer Pressure and Standing Firm.
