There seems to be an obsession, be it wanting to share, see, or to even watch and dismiss the black death that is being plastered across our screens. It has become a fetish of sorts, even to those that are working for liberation.

There are no bodies that are shown in death as much as black bodies are shown. Our television news stations even censor people that our nation has declared an enemy. But they will show, on repeat, black death. We will willingly share black death, and live and sit in that trauma, with a hope that white people will see the error of their ways.

But so many that watch it, so many white moderates, conservatives, and even some liberals can watch black death and rationalize it in some way, shape, or form. Be it having drugs in your system, or having a weapon on you, as if it’s not the police’s alleged job to bring people in alive. But instead are soldiers on the front line protecting good, white society against the threat of the wild and dangerous negro.

Watching these videos while black is trauma. My mood changes when I see these videos, I become short tempered, I move with blinders, I’m agitated, and I sleep less. So I chose not to sit in that trauma.

There’s an inability for me to watch them without breaking down and crying. I can barely write this knowing the death that is a click away, visible to all to see, and many to mock. A death that is ongoing, living with a frustration that white people have no clue about. An indescribable frustration that knowing this video, and the next, won’t be enough to make the white moderate demand that this murder must stop.

When I watch those videos all I see is faces of my family of friends, of someone I passed down the street, or of students I’ve worked with.

I can no longer watch black people dying anymore … I haven’t watched such death since Tony Robinson was murdered. To function and to focus on long-term goals and not be wrapped up in the trauma of this death, I must not.

“There’s an inability for me to watch these videos without breaking down and crying. I can barely write this knowing the death that is a click away, visible to all to see, and many to mock. A death that is ongoing, living with a frustration that white people have no clue about. An indescribable frustration that knowing this video, and the next, won’t be enough to make the white moderate demand that this murder must stop.”

A girl was arrested and pepper-sprayed for being in an accident; I cannot watch black people being brutalized anymore. I have not watched such a video since Genele was beaten on and brutalized by Madison Police Department. All while white moderates in Madison called her out of control, and rationalized the beating of yet another black body.

I can no longer let myself watch any more lynchings and brutality. I can no longer be consumed by the outrage and rage that comes from watching them. But, I’m also unsure what sharing them or watching them accomplishes.

How many different ways have we seen black people die now? We’ve watched black death in countless ways, forever projected on our Twitter feeds and Facebook timelines. If there was a moment that watching would change the white moderates mind, it would have happened. They do nothing but hurt us as we watch them.

Instead of feeling outraged every time you watch one of those, sucking you into trauma, maybe we keep their name in our minds, their death in our soul, all while keeping our eyes on the prize. Keep looking forward and pushing, organize, thinking strategically and long-term. We need long-term wins, not bursts of outrage that fade until the next murder that permeates throughout our social media landscape like floods during a monsoon.

We already know the value of white life is so much more than that of black death. They even celebrate people that have committed heinous acts. Joe Paterno was just celebrated. A white man dies or even kills and they talk about their kindness and they talk about how this isn’t like them. When a young white male rapist commits his heinous act, the media talks about their potential. When a white male shoots up a school, they talk about how good of a kid he was. When a white male shoots up a black church, they talk about his mental illness as a lone wolf, and get him Burger King for lunch.

When a black American is killed or brutalized, they post a mug shot as their picture and they talk about a suspension in high school or they talk about past drug use. They demonize and show us that this person was an undesirable and that’s why they are dead.

How much more death do white Americans need to see before they support black lives? Before they stop with being more outraged about blocked traffic and kneeling football players than the death that happens in this country every single day? How much more do they need to see?

Watching black death won’t make white moderates change their mind. They didn’t in the past. They didn’t change their mind when they saw attack dogs and fire hoses launched at us. They didn’t change their mind when pictures of lynched men were printed in the paper. They didn’t change their mind when the vast majority of the founding fathers owned slaves.

They never really changed. MLK was the most unpopular man in America at the time of his death. They didn’t embrace him; they didn’t think he was doing it right. They felt that black Americans needed to just be patient and that things will get better with time. Keep your head down and be quiet is what we’re told. Don’t speak up, or you’ll make us feel bad about ourselves.

“You see, white America is living in a different reality. Most of the moderate, white America barely pays attention to what’s going on. As you’re crying over the latest video, their reaction is, “Oh, I think I heard about that.” Because they only think they did hear about it. And maybe they saw it on CNN…on loop…and well, he did have a record, right?”

See, King had it right on the white moderate: they are the biggest obstacle to the problems of black America and our relationship with America. If the white moderate listened to the black plea, the negro plea, there would be change throughout the country. But the racial order works for them, as they don’t want true integration.

Integration is fine, until a few too many black families move in the neighborhood. Integration is cool, as long as there’re just enough black students in their school. Integration is fine, until one comes home. Integration is fine, unless one gets a promotion, that you know you just deserved more (guess what, you probably didn’t, you just think you did).

You see, white America is living in a different reality. Most of the moderate, white America barely pays attention to what’s going on. As you’re crying over the latest video, their reaction is, “Oh, I think I heard about that.” Because they only think they did hear about it. And maybe they saw it on CNN…on loop…and well, he did have a record, right?

The civil rights movement didn’t win because it served to the moral judgment of the oppressor, it won because of the economic pressure it created. You think MLK launching the poor people’s campaign with a sanitation strike was by accident? You have to impact their pocket book. Black America has $1.1 trillion in economic spending power. If even 15% of white America jumped onboard organized protest, that’s also a game-changing amount of money.

How much longer are we going to subjugate ourselves to saying “See!” when they see and look away as if there’s nothing there to see?

Organize, infiltrate power structures and fight political guerilla warfare. Fight power structures from the outside, boycott, hurt the pocketbooks of white America, divest from the power structures of white America. A nation corrupted by greed — a greed at all costs, a greed that dehumanizes others, a greed that so many are willing to let the earth burn over — only hears one language, and that is of profit; or the loss of.

Disruptions of society are the only way.