I own and run Tales with Big T, a childhood literacy program. My work takes me into the Meadowood Neighborhood, where I’ve become a consistent presence. As a white person becoming that presence in a predominantly black neighborhood (Meadowood), there are a few things that I want to emphasize or re-emphasize to WHITE people.
- Please don’t tell me to “Be Careful” when I go into the neighborhood. Think of how offensive that sounds to the people who live there. I’m a middle-aged white woman with a small dog, and a wheeled crate full of books. I’m not sure what could happen to me, but trust me, there are way more dangerous situation I could get into, and have gotten into.
- Even at age 7, kids of color are leery of police. This is real, and this is dangerous. Imagine if you were in danger, but felt you couldn’t count on the police to help you. I was told yesterday, “Police are bad…why are they always just hanging out in my neighborhood”? As a white person, I would welcome police presense, I would feel protected. However, because of a long history of abuse, black people see them as harassers NOT protectors.
- Black hair is HARD to maintain, and I’m just talking about the boys! Forget about the girls who have to sit for hours, being patient while their mommies do their hair. Boys go through it too, if it’s not maintained daily. My heart was breaking for a little sweetie yesterday that I took to get his hair cut. His hair was so grown out, that a pick could hardly get through it. The clippers were getting stuck and once the barber finally got all the hair off, we had to take him back to scrub his hair that wasn’t washed in a while. While he was getting lined up, he was getting antsy — as all little kids would after an hour — and moved, and got nicked with the razor. Then the spray at the end burned his skin! I had no idea that ALL this went on. As a white person, I thought black boys and men, could just shave it and go! But it’s a PROCESS!!! And I’m so proud of this little man for sitting still as long as he could and enduring it all. (He was rewarded for his bravery with cookies, pizza, and a fidget spinner).
- Daycare is an issue. When the parents both have to work long hours just to make ends meet, often the kids are left alone all day to fend for themselves. I asked one of the kids yesterday what about their baby sister, who is a toddler still in diapers. He said they watch her. I asked if they changed her diaper. They said, “No, that’s gross”.
- Black and Brown children HAVE FATHERS!!!! Of course not all, but not ALL white children have dads in the home or in their lives. I didn’t have one growing up. In fact, I have met more dads than moms of the kids I work with!!
- Black children have goals, beyond being sports stars and rappers!!! I work with future authors, veterinarians, architects, and teachers (those are just a few of what the kids mentioned). We need to strive just as hard as we do to prepare our black and brown kids for their future as we do for white children.
- Lastly, and possibly most importantly, DO NOT SAY YOU ARE COLORBLIND in an attempt to confirm you’re not racist. Don’t be colorblind! Be wide open to see color. See these black and brown children for who they are. Celebrate their color. Don’t see color as a negative.
Your community is bigger than the few houses around you. Please invest in it …. ALL of it! Get to know ALL your neighbors. And this doesn’t require a major initiative or effort on your part … you can start by just saying “hi.”
